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ZOWIE'S WRITING...


I asked someone how they were feeling the other day and they replied with such honesty; 'Lost'. After chatting for a while and trying not to fall into the pattern that we all seem to fall into at times- to respond with a sugar coated something as we feel uncomfortable therefore try to make everything better. -I realised that; all we need at times is re-assurance.- Re-assurance that things can change. To hear that it's possible and that there is hope when times feel bleak.

Sometimes there can be a loss of confidence in life- as though you're abandoned and life is a constant challenge. It isn't always a yearning for a cure - there's a yearning for re-assurance that life is open and full of potential and joy. It's always easy to say but if we can see these challenges as an invitation to know ourselves more intimately then that 'lost' feeling can shift into a discovery instead. We can all feel lost at times in our lives and different stages demand a different version of us- we may not have met those characters inside of us before and they now want to be known. It's like experiencing a deep soul growth which is like fertiliser to our soul- in these places we begin to remember these parts of who we really are- but it's only through being here that we can grow. So this feeling of being lost can actually be an initiation into something deeper- into the heart to discover an innate wisdom that will gift us with different ways of looking at the world - through looking at ourselves differently. 

I came to the realisation that sometimes we hold ourselves prisoner- not just through victimisation but through a genuine confusion and alienation in where we might find ourselves in life- we keep ourselves small like a bird in a cage and limit ourselves because we don't always have to have the right answers- but- the big but- we also hold the key and the bird is in fact an Eagle. We just have to empower ourselves enough to 'discover' that. 

Love
Zowie 





Quite a few people have told me they've quit their jobs and all that is familiar to start something new and unfamiliar. 
I'm really happy to hear these stories- how we can get to a point in our lives and you know you must make a change - to follow your heart - even when you have no idea where it will take you - just a yearning for more. 
This takes real courage and it's a real declaration to the Universe that you're wanting to align with your true self - that you're no longer prepared to wake up and live a life that doesn't feel as though it's yours anymore. 
Sometimes all we need is an open-ness - an open-ness to life - a receptivity that stands under this sky with open arms and no umbrella and screams YES! 
Of course this can be scary - it always will feel this way initially as it's unknown territory- there's only an invisible guiding and this is all very new to most people as following this feeling isn't 'realistic' or 'practical' it isn't 'safe'.
Following your heart demands of all you - it demands that you sacrifice your safety and security or whatever your'e fearful of in order to really become all that you can be. 
Even when you don't know what you're to become -Empowerment is in making the first steps on your path - the one you haven't walked before - but you're hands are open and there's an eagerness in your heart. 
Love
Zowie


Holding a space for someone to explore their feelings more in-indepthly can be very intense in the most fragile, humbling and vulnerable sense. Because not only are you witnessing another person's journey you're also present, you're immersed in it and feeling what they're feeling too. 

It's a certain kind of empathy that is so incredibly sacred that within the walls of this space so many break-throughs and realisations can occur. Often in our most painful moments we so badly try to scramble through as quickly as possible- to reach a place inside that doesn't feel so heavy or confined. Maybe our nature fears allowing ourselves to feel these darkened caves inside, Perhaps because it's so often denied. We deny it or the other person cannot go there, they cannot meet you in such spaces and it can feel lonely. 
But being with these emotions when they feel difficult, uncomfortable or unknown is where we truly being a process of illumination. Because we're no longer afraid. And being here when our pain is no longer painful well that is healing. 

If you're wondering what 'holding a space' means- aside from being the lingo of a healer or therapist it's simply being there fully with another person's emotions however they present themselves. Holding a space can scream into the core, it can laugh away anxieties and it can cry like a frightened child but it doesn't need to be made better - just being there is enough -we can heal through presence. No words are necessary, even if someone is crying like a baby, sometimes interupting their process as they feel themselves in this state can hold them back and hinder their healing. Even if we feel we're being loving by hugging them or saying loving things to lift spirits .-Why is it always so much harder to surrender to our lower emotions or to accept another's pain without deeming it 'bad' or wanting to 'fix' it? 

I have learned that by being present and standing firmly in my own sense of self this then mirrors back feelings of acceptance and offers an opening for the other to go deeper into themselves. Probably because they feel safe to do so and because on an energetic level you're allowing them too. It's like attaching an invisible cord around their feet as they dive into their own swimming pool of emotions - they feel supported and trust us to bring them back. 

Do you remember when someone would cry and you'd try to make them feel better by putting your arm around them or saying something upbeat? Yes the intentions behind this are lovely but it doesn't always allow the other person the space to explore their feelings- It's this fix-it mentality that in an indirect or direct way can be a distraction to our truest emotion and that goldmine within. To allow someone to feel "Enter emotion here'' without moulding it or influencing this in anyway and just being there is loving. 

We also tend to comfort our friends/family differently to a someone not as close and have become accustomed to this 'wanting people to feel better' - Even to the extent of depleting ourselves. And I know this can initially seem harsh but is this attempt to make another feel better also a projection of us not really being able to deal with that person being upset? Are we uncomfortable that this person feels an emotion that we have been taught to 'make better' 

My point is that one of the greatest gifts you can give someone is you being totally present. To listen to someone's story without wanting to tell them where they're going wrong or how they could've done things differently. To accept it how it is, how they are and how we are. There is unlimited amounts of beauty in this if we we're to just be here more often- to get out of the way of ourselves- to not interfere with our judgements or belief systems because when someone allows us to witness them as their most authentic self- we are being given a gift too. 

Even if it's just for today- try to really listen to someone speak, open to what they have to say and what they don't say- see where this takes you inside. 

Love
Zowie






I'm reading a book at the moment called 'A religion of One's own' by Thomas Moore. 
I really relate to what he is expressing- that basically (or not so basically) religion can sometimes be anything but 'religious'. Regardless of the dogma, repression and guilt etc etc that may come with being a religious person- religion at its core can be anything but holy and loving. I've always been fascinated by all religions and have always read books from all religious perspectives and appreciate them all. This is the essence that Thomas Moore points out- that we don't have to subscribe to just one religion in order to feel or know It/God as a whole. Maybe that's ignorant to be selective with whom you subscribe to -maybe thats offensive of me to say so. I just feel we should challenge this within us- what does it mean to be religious? 

Do we have to categorise ourselves as a 'Hindu' or 'Muslim' or whatever in order to know God?
If not are we then dis-connected in some way? 
Because you can be an atheist or agnostic and still have your own religion. I believe it's more fluid like that and can be just as connected to 'Source' to 'Spirit' to whatever the Divine is. 
Take Ricky Gervais as an example- I don't know him personally but he speaks of being an atheist quite a bit and how he doesn't want to give his power away to something outside of himself. But still he cares for animals like a Christian would care for a poor person or a Muslim would feed someone in need. Isn't his way of being still religious? I think it is. 

Take our conscience as another example- we all know what is right and wrong as we feel it don't we. -This isn't religious but it's still connecting spiritually as we are communing with our deepest selves and abiding by our own personal law. Which hopefully is where we have grown enough to know and choose to do the right thing in comparison to going against it. It's like our own inner built God in a sense. Our inner guidance. This doesn't have to come with a handbook with instructions on how to do the right thing. But if the Bible or the Qu'ran etc helps with this then great. 

Anyway I like this book and this man's view on life and it got me thinking. I'm not saying we should all abandon our religious views etc I say embrace all religious perspectives - take what you can from them- but also- religion in itself doesn't have to be a religion! - it doesn't have to be outside of us. It's 'omnipresent'
We all have a personal religion within and that might go beyond anything we think we know..
Zowie



'What really seperates people who are habitually upbeat and optimistic from those who are consistently miserable is how the circumstances of life are interpreted and processed.' 

-The Monk Who Sold His Farrari.



Beautiful.

'Love is any action we perform for the benefit of someone, or
something, else for which we expect nothing in return. Love is
expressed by way of a Selfless Act, Unattached Caring, and the
voluntary Sacrifice of oneself to a Higher Cause. In short, if we
were to define Love with just one Word, that one Word would be
"Kindness".' -Joseph Panek






Lately I've been witnessing a certain panic that seems to hit people as they reach a certain age. As we get older there's a quickening and a pressure as to what we are expected to be, have or do by a specific time frame. This quickening emerges as life becomes a manic rush, a mad countdown a bit like NYE as we rush around to be within an ideal timing. But a lot of the time we miss the ambience, the build up, the experience of it all in our search once again for the end result. We want the instant gratification don't we! 
It's like driving through the most scenic places with your eyes solely focused on the driving wheel missing out on the views! -Excuse the overwhelming visuals and constant similes! -Even thinking about the quickness makes my mind spin!

So (Back to the present) -In this quickening place- all of a sudden we 'must' reproduce, we 'must' get married, get that house, be that person, do that thing before we can do that other thing and then that other thing and so forth... 
And then, only then shall we be happy! 
Do you see that this is another illusion we feed ourselves? 
What happened to enjoying and basking in the ephemeral glow of that much anticipated 'Happy New Year?" or any celebratory event? The biggest one we seem to forget about; the daily celebration of our lives? 
-I suppose we're all too busy with our resolutions and implementing them no doubt with a hangover in an over zealous naivety. Haha! Don't we just love to do things the hard way! 

It's a chasing of our dreams in fear that they will not come true in a naturally flowing way, instead we think we must force it to happen. Indeed there's a level that is active in pursuing what we want in our lives and also there's a passivity where we can also remain open and receptive to life. I think we can feel very fearful or choose not to entertain the latter as we're instilled with this fear that tells us that sitting back shall not bring what we want fast enough or even more cynically, not at all. We even get annoyed at this 'Nonchalance' ...Isn't this a lack of trust in what is meant to be shall be.. 

With this in mind, aren't we blocking ourselves from receiving in a myriad of ways because we become so fixated on things having to be an exact time, or for our lives to unfold in a controlled fashion. It's like having tunnel vision where our perspective contracts- yes we can all crave, dream and wish for certain things and truly they are from the heart- but what if we don't get them the way we want them.. Does that mean we can never be happy and is this then saying that everything else in the world is just a lacking second best? 

It's easy to see how we can create prisons around ourselves, an apparatus of how things should be then delude ourselves to believe that this prison is in fact freedom. 
The mind is mad in that sense- we trick and fool ourselves.
We do it all the time in one way or another. Trick ourselves into believing that if we do XYZ and after getting (Enter desire here) then all will be perfect. Of course we can create our futures to be beautiful, wonderful etc etc, but first one must question- is this imagining of our 'perfect' future an escape from the present moment? Is this a denial of where we find ourselves at right now or an accepting of where we find ourselves and a want to change it without trying to dictate every movement with exact precision? Because these are two very different things that come from two very different places. 

So we must take into consideration our heart-felt wishes alongside the dynamic of 'control' and an inability to surrender to life and its numberless avenues. We put so much pressure on ourselves to attain that which is perhaps changeable and impermanent then equally dismiss everything which is also fixed and present; The Now, right now. What complex creatures we are! 

We read and loosely quote expressions such as 'It's not the destination it's the journey' -My point is; How often do we really embody this truthfully? 
Why can't we slow down a little to take in our surroundings whilst deepening our breath, to life, to our ourselves, to our dreams. 
And can we (even if we start today) try to let go a little of our expectations of how we feel things should be and attempt to accept them, maybe even enjoy our presence stance, just as it is?? 

...Carpe Diem. 

Zowie <3






'I asked my heart..'

'I asked my heart; 'What do I know about love..'
And my heart humbly replied; 'very little'
So I asked my heart curiously; 
What would I like to know about Love..
And my heart replied; 'Everything'

-Zowie Conway <3



'The Shift' -Zowie Conway 

All those who have 'hurt' you have been your greatest teachers. -This is a wisdom we know once we decide that we will not dwell on old limited and outdated thought processes and underneath all the dirt of an experience- this truth shall be found somewhere deep just waiting to be dug up.

For example- I was speaking with a lady who told me that she felt angry and plenty more emotions after her partner ended their relationship through a text message. -Naturally and understandable the woman felt angry and this is also a process that needs to be felt- to unearth more of what has been dormant in her perhaps for a while. This is all very good from a higher perspective- If I were to suggest from an objective and not very empathic perspective to simply 'Forget him, move on etc etc' Well this wouldn't really help her as I have no emotional connection to her situation other than sympathising with her. Not feeling her feelings would be denial of them which will cause a stagnancy somewhere so we must be honest with ourselves and truthful with how we feel. 

We need to process and integrate what has happened in order to heal and begin to heal again but from a deeper place. -A place that this experience probably had nothing to do with but it has taken you there again- E.g - Someone breaks up with you in such a detached way- could this be bringing up a feeling of abandonment that actually originates from our sense of abandonment from our parents? -This is just an example- my point is that a wound once wounded again will always present scar tissue, fragility and triggers from old traumas that are still to be healed some more. It's just that physically we believe they look healed. That's the problem- There isn't much that is just on the surface is there? 

So I offered another view of the situation which shifts the way we tend to operate E.g -From old ways or relating to a new way of being. (Old way=blame somebody for their actions etc etc New way= Choosing not be a victim and take responsibility with compassion) 

After processing and integrating what has happened we can begin to allow ourselves to explore ourselves. Painful experiences open us up like this and offer us an opportunity to unravel ourselves should we want to shift away from 'Poor me' into a new empowered state. 
I offered this woman my opinion and I believe it was a blessing in disguise- the fact that this man dealt with the experience in such an emotionally immature way gives an insight into how he would communicate and the frustration this would constantly bring up. 
From a higher perspective- the one that is harder to surrender to and implement from a really honest place is- Instead of feeling any anger towards this man (After processing & integrating stage)- you can be thankful, feel gratitude, acceptance and respect that this person has been a facilitator and has offered you an opening to explore yourself deeper than before. Isn't this what life is all about? Coming to know ourselves in these intimate ways to heal some more? 

We could also say that this woman was also shown a reflection of something also present in her that she has yet to own, accept and deal with. E.g her own way/lack of communicating -manifested in him. But this is another story! Ha- sometimes it seems as though people are like props for eachother- giving exactly what we need when we need it but when we think we least can deal with it. 
Learning to surrender to these experiences is what gives us leverage in the waves of life. 


Of course this is easy to suggest, to say and to think as it takes a lot to be here- but hindsight also confirms what the present cannot and with hindsight we always gather so much understanding, growth, strength and we learn that we are all eachother's teachers and we're always right on time. :) 






''Without Limitation''

Maybe the real challenge is not in the obsessing of finding love; but it is simply allowing love to love..

...If love exists in every moment then it is only us that prevent ourselves from feeling it. 
#Everywakingmoment
-Zowie Conway 




'The Heart Of The Rose'

''Opening to our heart is painful.
Re-connecting to our emotions bring up all that we've 
Protected ourselves from feeling and being exposed to. 
In order to feel safe expressing from our hearts 
We must push past the feelings that it isn't safe to do so.
We then come to realise that this opening 
To our true emotions,
Feeling them, healing them and releasing them 
Is a personal journey.
One of trust and courage,
In ourselves,
To enable us to feel strong enough to move past the resistance 
And to feel safe in the vulnerability of I.
Life is a journey,
One we must continually unfold with,
Regardless of where we find ourselves 
The challenge is to remain connected to our hearts perspective. 
A good place, 
Bad place 
This heart place shouldn't falter. 
Opening to our heart is painful,
But the pain is what we must endure in order to really 
Know, feel and love within The Heart Of The Rose.''

-Zowie <3 





''Navigate''

Life is a constant shifting between gears;
Being passive and being active.
Between these two contrasts we must learn to navigate our way, 
Surrendering too much we lose grounding,
Persisting too much and we lose perspective. 
Moving too much we miss our stillness 
Not moving enough we lack our motion.

Moving forwards 
We must be considerate of our past 
Without holding on to it. 
We must embody all that our past has taught us 
By no longer repeating the same lesson.

We must envision our future manifested from the heart 
And let go of it at the same time.
In order to be truly open we must actively surrender 
And in order to really love we must passively let go.

We must and we mustn't!
We do and we don't!
We yes and we no! 
We let go and we hold on.
We speak and remain silent.
And we understand the reasons behind our actions.

We laugh and we cry at this confusion 
And here we learn 
To navigate our way.

-Zowie 


 
'Feeling Safe' 
Something that's come up a lot lately in healings is how 'Safe' we feel within ourselves and how this affects us, especially our bodies. When we don't feel safe -be this because of a past trauma for example- our bodies go into a 'fight or flight' mode for protection and even though this trauma may have occurred a long time ago the protective shield can still remain in a more subtle form. 

This type of energy is usually felt to be cold- as the circulation isn't flowing freely it causes a restriction and a build up and the body separates because of it. It's common for the legs and feet to remain cold and yet the lower back area remains warm. 
Which is not surprising as our lower back connects to our foundation and how grounded and 'safe' we feel in this world,
and for our legs and feet to remain cold is an indication that this energy is stagnant and will not allow us to move forwards until this safe/unsafe feeling is addressed. 

When we feel unsafe we try to fill this space with external comforts and the usual defense mechanisms come out to play as a means to control and protect. But the more we allow these distractions to hold the space the longer it shall take to address the root cause. 

So how do we re-emerge from this cocoon type of functioning? How do we break through this mesh of energy that surrounds us- preventing anything from penetrating again? What are we protecting? What do we believe to be controlling or suppressing? What is this sensation wanting to be known? What are you afraid of? How does your inner child feel? What happened to make you protect and internally rotate? 

I believe asking these questions will be a good start, and waiting for the response however this shall arise. Being present with this unsafe feeling is scary, I know, but it's through this dark path of facing this that we shall come to release this cocoon type of energy, as it isn't needed anymore. And imagine what is beyond- wanting to be opened and explored. I also recommend Qigong as a daily practice and yoga to bring awareness back into your body and energy field. And focusing on your base chakra (Red) at the bottom of your spine.  Zowie Conway <3

'Seeking approval' 
What is it within you that seeks approval? I've been exploring this within myself for a while and others have also shared the fact that apart of them has yet to 'come home' to themselves and this aspect then manifests in confirmation and a seeking of approval from another. Be this a mother, a father, a friend, basically any external acceptance of self is sought after. 

On a sub-conscious level this need for approval is maybe unnoticed, we may lack confidence in certain areas in our lives yet we cannot understand why. Or we could be the 'Pleaser' always fulfilling this role as care taker for everyone, as we believe that through being helpful we will be approved, and of course it's nice to be helpful, but this can also be a form of denial as we may dismiss the fact through this chronic pleasing we compromise ourselves, we deny ourselves. 

The fact is if we are to go through life always living according to other's expectations and approvals of us then who's life are we really living? We lose, or rather, give away our originality and spark as a result. And this pleasing can become an addiction, an addiction to pleasing as a means of gaining attention, affection, love. A 'Tough- Love' situation. 

Focus on yourself and your priorities, it is not being 'selfish' what does selfish even mean... It's as though society uses this word in such a way that we're believed to be such a greedy person! But 'selfish' is also a trick word that acts as a distraction, preventing us from really being with ourselves in various ways. So what are you willing to compromise? 

If a parent doesn't accept you, your way of life, your thinking etc the chances are they never will, so when will you come to the realization that you cannot change this? Do you believe that continuing to seek approval, be it materialistically or emotionally will alter their expression towards you? I've come to realize that acceptance lies purely, solely, utterly within us, regardless of others. And how powerful and re-claiming to get to a point where you can say that the opinion of other's derogatory remarks matters not. 

In the long run this disapproval proves to be one of our biggest challenges that allows us the chance to empower ourselves, to set a boundary of how far you will go for others, how much giving of yourself you will allow... And how much you can fill yourself up with the most pivotal love, the love most available to you, Self-Love. -Zowie Conway <3
 






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"Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize how unnecessary it was to drag those burdens along with you. You’ll see that no one other than you was responsible. The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival."
-Buddhist Teaching