Photo of the cosmos with healing explosions of colour

ZOWIE'S WRITING...


I asked someone how they were feeling the other day and they replied with such honesty; 'Lost'. After chatting for a while and trying not to fall into the pattern that we all seem to fall into at times- to respond with a sugar coated something as we feel uncomfortable therefore try to make everything better. -I realised that; all we need at times is re-assurance.- Re-assurance that things can change. To hear that it's possible and that there is hope when times feel bleak.

Sometimes there can be a loss of confidence in life- as though you're abandoned and life is a constant challenge. It isn't always a yearning for a cure - there's a yearning for re-assurance that life is open and full of potential and joy. It's always easy to say but if we can see these challenges as an invitation to know ourselves more intimately then that 'lost' feeling can shift into a discovery instead. We can all feel lost at times in our lives and different stages demand a different version of us- we may not have met those characters inside of us before and they now want to be known. It's like experiencing a deep soul growth which is like fertiliser to our soul- in these places we begin to remember these parts of who we really are- but it's only through being here that we can grow. So this feeling of being lost can actually be an initiation into something deeper- into the heart to discover an innate wisdom that will gift us with different ways of looking at the world - through looking at ourselves differently. 

I came to the realisation that sometimes we hold ourselves prisoner- not just through victimisation but through a genuine confusion and alienation in where we might find ourselves in life- we keep ourselves small like a bird in a cage and limit ourselves because we don't always have to have the right answers- but- the big but- we also hold the key and the bird is in fact an Eagle. We just have to empower ourselves enough to 'discover' that. 

Love
Zowie 





Quite a few people have told me they've quit their jobs and all that is familiar to start something new and unfamiliar. 
I'm really happy to hear these stories- how we can get to a point in our lives and you know you must make a change - to follow your heart - even when you have no idea where it will take you - just a yearning for more. 
This takes real courage and it's a real declaration to the Universe that you're wanting to align with your true self - that you're no longer prepared to wake up and live a life that doesn't feel as though it's yours anymore. 
Sometimes all we need is an open-ness - an open-ness to life - a receptivity that stands under this sky with open arms and no umbrella and screams YES! 
Of course this can be scary - it always will feel this way initially as it's unknown territory- there's only an invisible guiding and this is all very new to most people as following this feeling isn't 'realistic' or 'practical' it isn't 'safe'.
Following your heart demands of all you - it demands that you sacrifice your safety and security or whatever your'e fearful of in order to really become all that you can be. 
Even when you don't know what you're to become -Empowerment is in making the first steps on your path - the one you haven't walked before - but you're hands are open and there's an eagerness in your heart. 
Love
Zowie


Holding a space for someone to explore their feelings more in-indepthly can be very intense in the most fragile, humbling and vulnerable sense. Because not only are you witnessing another person's journey you're also present, you're immersed in it and feeling what they're feeling too. 

It's a certain kind of empathy that is so incredibly sacred that within the walls of this space so many break-throughs and realisations can occur. Often in our most painful moments we so badly try to scramble through as quickly as possible- to reach a place inside that doesn't feel so heavy or confined. Maybe our nature fears allowing ourselves to feel these darkened caves inside, Perhaps because it's so often denied. We deny it or the other person cannot go there, they cannot meet you in such spaces and it can feel lonely. 
But being with these emotions when they feel difficult, uncomfortable or unknown is where we truly being a process of illumination. Because we're no longer afraid. And being here when our pain is no longer painful well that is healing. 

If you're wondering what 'holding a space' means- aside from being the lingo of a healer or therapist it's simply being there fully with another person's emotions however they present themselves. Holding a space can scream into the core, it can laugh away anxieties and it can cry like a frightened child but it doesn't need to be made better - just being there is enough -we can heal through presence. No words are necessary, even if someone is crying like a baby, sometimes interupting their process as they feel themselves in this state can hold them back and hinder their healing. Even if we feel we're being loving by hugging them or saying loving things to lift spirits .-Why is it always so much harder to surrender to our lower emotions or to accept another's pain without deeming it 'bad' or wanting to 'fix' it? 

I have learned that by being present and standing firmly in my own sense of self this then mirrors back feelings of acceptance and offers an opening for the other to go deeper into themselves. Probably because they feel safe to do so and because on an energetic level you're allowing them too. It's like attaching an invisible cord around their feet as they dive into their own swimming pool of emotions - they feel supported and trust us to bring them back. 

Do you remember when someone would cry and you'd try to make them feel better by putting your arm around them or saying something upbeat? Yes the intentions behind this are lovely but it doesn't always allow the other person the space to explore their feelings- It's this fix-it mentality that in an indirect or direct way can be a distraction to our truest emotion and that goldmine within. To allow someone to feel "Enter emotion here'' without moulding it or influencing this in anyway and just being there is loving. 

We also tend to comfort our friends/family differently to a someone not as close and have become accustomed to this 'wanting people to feel better' - Even to the extent of depleting ourselves. And I know this can initially seem harsh but is this attempt to make another feel better also a projection of us not really being able to deal with that person being upset? Are we uncomfortable that this person feels an emotion that we have been taught to 'make better' 

My point is that one of the greatest gifts you can give someone is you being totally present. To listen to someone's story without wanting to tell them where they're going wrong or how they could've done things differently. To accept it how it is, how they are and how we are. There is unlimited amounts of beauty in this if we we're to just be here more often- to get out of the way of ourselves- to not interfere with our judgements or belief systems because when someone allows us to witness them as their most authentic self- we are being given a gift too. 

Even if it's just for today- try to really listen to someone speak, open to what they have to say and what they don't say- see where this takes you inside. 

Love
Zowie






I'm reading a book at the moment called 'A religion of One's own' by Thomas Moore. 
I really relate to what he is expressing- that basically (or not so basically) religion can sometimes be anything but 'religious'. Regardless of the dogma, repression and guilt etc etc that may come with being a religious person- religion at its core can be anything but holy and loving. I've always been fascinated by all religions and have always read books from all religious perspectives and appreciate them all. This is the essence that Thomas Moore points out- that we don't have to subscribe to just one religion in order to feel or know It/God as a whole. Maybe that's ignorant to be selective with whom you subscribe to -maybe thats offensive of me to say so. I just feel we should challenge this within us- what does it mean to be religious? 

Do we have to categorise ourselves as a 'Hindu' or 'Muslim' or whatever in order to know God?
If not are we then dis-connected in some way? 
Because you can be an atheist or agnostic and still have your own religion. I believe it's more fluid like that and can be just as connected to 'Source' to 'Spirit' to whatever the Divine is. 
Take Ricky Gervais as an example- I don't know him personally but he speaks of being an atheist quite a bit and how he doesn't want to give his power away to something outside of himself. But still he cares for animals like a Christian would care for a poor person or a Muslim would feed someone in need. Isn't his way of being still religious? I think it is. 

Take our conscience as another example- we all know what is right and wrong as we feel it don't we. -This isn't religious but it's still connecting spiritually as we are communing with our deepest selves and abiding by our own personal law. Which hopefully is where we have grown enough to know and choose to do the right thing in comparison to going against it. It's like our own inner built God in a sense. Our inner guidance. This doesn't have to come with a handbook with instructions on how to do the right thing. But if the Bible or the Qu'ran etc helps with this then great. 

Anyway I like this book and this man's view on life and it got me thinking. I'm not saying we should all abandon our religious views etc I say embrace all religious perspectives - take what you can from them- but also- religion in itself doesn't have to be a religion! - it doesn't have to be outside of us. It's 'omnipresent'
We all have a personal religion within and that might go beyond anything we think we know..
Zowie



'What really seperates people who are habitually upbeat and optimistic from those who are consistently miserable is how the circumstances of life are interpreted and processed.' 

-The Monk Who Sold His Farrari.



Beautiful.

'Love is any action we perform for the benefit of someone, or
something, else for which we expect nothing in return. Love is
expressed by way of a Selfless Act, Unattached Caring, and the
voluntary Sacrifice of oneself to a Higher Cause. In short, if we
were to define Love with just one Word, that one Word would be
"Kindness".' -Joseph Panek




Recently I was offered a few acting jobs with a casting agency I worked with ages ago. It did make me laugh just how demanding and self centred they were, it was aggressive and even threatening. The demands were emails with subject headlines as 'If you do not reply by such and such time you will be removed from our system etc.. This is a one strike policy!' And voicemails 100mph with no interest in me at all - just them and their profit.

It made me feel very grateful for the position I have got myself into in my life, how I have no boss other than myself and nobody to dictate to me in anyway. When I was younger I would jump at the chance to work on these acting jobs, but now I thought to myself 'No way!' this realisation hit me today after receiving yet another demanding email and I had no sense of urgency at all to reply. 

It's funny how life works, sometimes we put so much effort and energy into something only to receive very little and then we focus ourselves elsewhere and that same thing is then offered. However the time delay had directed us to another place and we no longer resonate with the past. This applies to many aspects in life, today it was with my work and my outlook and how empowered I feel now in comparison to then. How I would persist to a point of desperation and struggle for acting work to now being so busy with my work that I'm pretty much full booked a month in advance. 

I feel grateful that I can wake up and decide how I would like to experience my day according to my needs. I feel grateful for my time, for the abundance I feel and for all my clients that enhance my life in so many ways. 

May you all feel grateful about something today, whatever it may be I hope it makes you smile. I hope you all realise in your own lives also just how much we grow daily, even if we feel we're stuck or stagnant- something is always moving- it just takes a little longer to feel it, see it, know it- realise it! Sometimes. 

-Zowie 






Tonight I had dinner at a place called Gavinda's in Soho square and I left feeling so humble and so much love. The restaurant serves delicious vegetarian food and all the money they earn is then invested into the temple next door.

I was speaking to the chefs and 'servers' -they said they worked for free- a way of giving back as they live for free in the Hare Krishna temples. How beautiful is that.. I then went to the temple next door and the space was filled with devotees of Krishna and just devotees to love, simply. Some were dancing, others chanting and praying and I sat down in this space to connect also. 

I only stayed for a few minutes but those few minutes left me smiling for a long time, one lady even came up to me with a flower she had been praying with and pressed it against my forehead with such care. 

I soon left and was soon hit with a different feel of reality as drunken people clumsily fell across my path. But I laughed at this too and came to the conclusion that there are a multitude of ways in which we connect to the Divine (or attempt to) - we are all seeking to feel more, to fill ourselves up with more of what we know we long to feel, unconsciously or consciously- seeking within or searching outside of us. The drunk people who drink to feel more or to forget even more- in their search for peace and happiness. -The Hare Krishna devotees who dance and sing and chant and radiate a different expression in order to feel and emulate love also. -We all want it and none of us are separated from this knowing deep in the alive-ness of our being. -Even if we deny we don't want/need love- In my experience even more love is needed/wanted it's just scared or has been neglected of it for too long. 

As I walked out these words came to me: 

'In the middle of lonely places
There's also a crowd that feel detached- 
In the middle of happy spaces 
There can also be a separation,
Forgetting those who may be in need, those who forget too 
That there is so much love in this world that does exist- `
In the seen, the unknown, the ignorant and the arrogant- 
THERE IS so much love in this world. 
In the absence of love love is there. 
Waiting to be met,
When we open our hearts to feel it. 
Maybe it's our choice, 
For One and for all,
To meet all that we long for 
With all that we have, 
Without numbing ourselves 
Without deluding ourselves either.
Instead of just seeking to feel more
Maybe we must first connect to a place forever present,
Our true emotions 
To know that 
What we long to feel is always there. 
Present in YOU.' 

-Zowie 








Lately I've been witnessing a certain panic that seems to hit people as they reach a certain age. As we get older there's a quickening and a pressure as to what we are expected to be, have or do by a specific time frame. This quickening emerges as life becomes a manic rush, a mad countdown a bit like NYE as we rush around to be within an ideal timing. But a lot of the time we miss the ambience, the build up, the experience of it all in our search once again for the end result. We want the instant gratification don't we! 
It's like driving through the most scenic places with your eyes solely focused on the driving wheel missing out on the views! -Excuse the overwhelming visuals and constant similes! -Even thinking about the quickness makes my mind spin!

So (Back to the present) -In this quickening place- all of a sudden we 'must' reproduce, we 'must' get married, get that house, be that person, do that thing before we can do that other thing and then that other thing and so forth... 
And then, only then shall we be happy! 
Do you see that this is another illusion we feed ourselves? 
What happened to enjoying and basking in the ephemeral glow of that much anticipated 'Happy New Year?" or any celebratory event? The biggest one we seem to forget about; the daily celebration of our lives? 
-I suppose we're all too busy with our resolutions and implementing them no doubt with a hangover in an over zealous naivety. Haha! Don't we just love to do things the hard way! 

It's a chasing of our dreams in fear that they will not come true in a naturally flowing way, instead we think we must force it to happen. Indeed there's a level that is active in pursuing what we want in our lives and also there's a passivity where we can also remain open and receptive to life. I think we can feel very fearful or choose not to entertain the latter as we're instilled with this fear that tells us that sitting back shall not bring what we want fast enough or even more cynically, not at all. We even get annoyed at this 'Nonchalance' ...Isn't this a lack of trust in what is meant to be shall be.. 

With this in mind, aren't we blocking ourselves from receiving in a myriad of ways because we become so fixated on things having to be an exact time, or for our lives to unfold in a controlled fashion. It's like having tunnel vision where our perspective contracts- yes we can all crave, dream and wish for certain things and truly they are from the heart- but what if we don't get them the way we want them.. Does that mean we can never be happy and is this then saying that everything else in the world is just a lacking second best? 

It's easy to see how we can create prisons around ourselves, an apparatus of how things should be then delude ourselves to believe that this prison is in fact freedom. 
The mind is mad in that sense- we trick and fool ourselves.
We do it all the time in one way or another. Trick ourselves into believing that if we do XYZ and after getting (Enter desire here) then all will be perfect. Of course we can create our futures to be beautiful, wonderful etc etc, but first one must question- is this imagining of our 'perfect' future an escape from the present moment? Is this a denial of where we find ourselves at right now or an accepting of where we find ourselves and a want to change it without trying to dictate every movement with exact precision? Because these are two very different things that come from two very different places. 

So we must take into consideration our heart-felt wishes alongside the dynamic of 'control' and an inability to surrender to life and its numberless avenues. We put so much pressure on ourselves to attain that which is perhaps changeable and impermanent then equally dismiss everything which is also fixed and present; The Now, right now. What complex creatures we are! 

We read and loosely quote expressions such as 'It's not the destination it's the journey' -My point is; How often do we really embody this truthfully? 
Why can't we slow down a little to take in our surroundings whilst deepening our breath, to life, to our ourselves, to our dreams. 
And can we (even if we start today) try to let go a little of our expectations of how we feel things should be and attempt to accept them, maybe even enjoy our presence stance, just as it is?? 

...Carpe Diem. 

Zowie <3






'I asked my heart..'

'I asked my heart; 'What do I know about love..'
And my heart humbly replied; 'very little'
So I asked my heart curiously; 
What would I like to know about Love..
And my heart replied; 'Everything'

-Zowie Conway <3



'The Shift' -Zowie Conway 

All those who have 'hurt' you have been your greatest teachers. -This is a wisdom we know once we decide that we will not dwell on old limited and outdated thought processes and underneath all the dirt of an experience- this truth shall be found somewhere deep just waiting to be dug up.

For example- I was speaking with a lady who told me that she felt angry and plenty more emotions after her partner ended their relationship through a text message. -Naturally and understandable the woman felt angry and this is also a process that needs to be felt- to unearth more of what has been dormant in her perhaps for a while. This is all very good from a higher perspective- If I were to suggest from an objective and not very empathic perspective to simply 'Forget him, move on etc etc' Well this wouldn't really help her as I have no emotional connection to her situation other than sympathising with her. Not feeling her feelings would be denial of them which will cause a stagnancy somewhere so we must be honest with ourselves and truthful with how we feel. 

We need to process and integrate what has happened in order to heal and begin to heal again but from a deeper place. -A place that this experience probably had nothing to do with but it has taken you there again- E.g - Someone breaks up with you in such a detached way- could this be bringing up a feeling of abandonment that actually originates from our sense of abandonment from our parents? -This is just an example- my point is that a wound once wounded again will always present scar tissue, fragility and triggers from old traumas that are still to be healed some more. It's just that physically we believe they look healed. That's the problem- There isn't much that is just on the surface is there? 

So I offered another view of the situation which shifts the way we tend to operate E.g -From old ways or relating to a new way of being. (Old way=blame somebody for their actions etc etc New way= Choosing not be a victim and take responsibility with compassion) 

After processing and integrating what has happened we can begin to allow ourselves to explore ourselves. Painful experiences open us up like this and offer us an opportunity to unravel ourselves should we want to shift away from 'Poor me' into a new empowered state. 
I offered this woman my opinion and I believe it was a blessing in disguise- the fact that this man dealt with the experience in such an emotionally immature way gives an insight into how he would communicate and the frustration this would constantly bring up. 
From a higher perspective- the one that is harder to surrender to and implement from a really honest place is- Instead of feeling any anger towards this man (After processing & integrating stage)- you can be thankful, feel gratitude, acceptance and respect that this person has been a facilitator and has offered you an opening to explore yourself deeper than before. Isn't this what life is all about? Coming to know ourselves in these intimate ways to heal some more? 

We could also say that this woman was also shown a reflection of something also present in her that she has yet to own, accept and deal with. E.g her own way/lack of communicating -manifested in him. But this is another story! Ha- sometimes it seems as though people are like props for eachother- giving exactly what we need when we need it but when we think we least can deal with it. 
Learning to surrender to these experiences is what gives us leverage in the waves of life. 


Of course this is easy to suggest, to say and to think as it takes a lot to be here- but hindsight also confirms what the present cannot and with hindsight we always gather so much understanding, growth, strength and we learn that we are all eachother's teachers and we're always right on time. :) 









''The Mermaid'' (Fantasy/Metaphorical) By Zowie Conway


''There's a mermaid that waits under the sea,
she waits in hope that a brave soul shall surrender to her and in doing so she'll rescue them in return and embrace them into her watery world.


The sea belongs to The Mermaid, she's delved the underworld, lives for discovering and has left the surface for those that are not ready to meet her yet.


Maybe it's part of her enchanting beauty that she is always so immersed in the intensity of the water, 
the darkening depths of the sea, her own emotions, the womb of her world giving sustenance.

In my curiosity to go deep into the abyss I met The Mermaid and there she asked me to plunge to the depths of the sea with her.
The water was no longer blue, the rays of the sun no longer illuminated,
it was cold and dark and I knew that I could just about reach the surface of the waters again to leave, but I also knew I'd done that many times before.

I begin to sink but apart of me still resists,
my legs slightly kicking and my hands unsure as I struggle to know what to do. 
'Let go' -I hear The Mermaid echo through the water, 
her patient voice holds me, I feel safe but still I'm in conflict with all that I'm confronted with above. 

My mind continued to battle here as my body naturally slipped down some more,
the deeper under water I went the more everything felt still.
I felt The Mermaid on the periphery,
in a distant part of me I think she's always lived, I've just not been able to trust in her. 

Everything feels longer underwater,
time isn't of importance once you've abandoned your anxious breath.
you begin to feel apart of it all, 
as though you're a small ripple of an imperminant wave and an untameable current bound into One. 

This place feels like I've been here forever now, it's so cold it actually begins to feel warm. The deeper I allow myself to sink the less I seem to contemplate. The less I struggle to let go the more peaceful I feel and the deeper I slip into the unknown the closer I get to her.

I soon reach the bottom, the deepest place I can go and here I meet her where I always knew I would;
It's too dark to see so I wait in the unknown for her to show herself but she didn't appear outside of me, in fact she spoke through me and with my own inner voice I heard ...'If you do not connect to the depth of yourself then you'll never know how you really feel. Just as a Mermaid swims so deep she can no longer see.. You must swim too, even when It's dark and scary and you might not even know what you feel or you feel too much and you feel as though you're drowning.. You must trust. Trust in yourself beyond anything and you shall always find your treasure here...

...There's a Mermaid that waits under the sea, 
she waits in hope that you shall meet here and to see without having to see. <3




''Without Limitation''

Maybe the real challenge is not in the obsessing of finding love; but it is simply allowing love to love..

...If love exists in every moment then it is only us that prevent ourselves from feeling it. 
#Everywakingmoment
-Zowie Conway 



We are are all wounded in some way and most things are a distraction from one's true path as we may not feel read to confront our pain or walk our true path. Maybe it takes huge crises and upheaval for us to realise where we are falling short of our truth. 

So often we become fixated on separated ourselves from pain, even recognising it in another and choosing to not see that we are really feeling into a shared pain, a collective fabric, a deep resonance -instead it's easier to blame and disconnect to this. 
Whose pain is whose?? Shouldn't we be looking beyond whose pain is whose, it is more a case of there is pain in the field, in the shared co-created space between two or more people. 

Our role as healers is to metabolise the unconscious as it arises moment to moment. Really this is purely a felt visceral process and not an intellectual one.- Something I've had to learn so many times until I really grasped this from a new perspective. 
One of feeling instead of a fearful survival instinct. 

The reality is that most people do not want to feel. 
The work is learning to feel, that's basically it. Not learning to drown in feeling, identify with feeling, judge feeling, analyse feeling, understand feeling - just FEEL feeling. Here there is no you or I, there only IS. I love the 'is-ness' -Zowie <3








One part of the body that's usually missed out during a massage is the stomach. Which is quite strange considering this is where we generally store most of our emotions. The reason being is because sadly this part of us can easily become sexualised and therefore many women feel uncomfortable with massaging someone here. The things is our stomachs hold so much tension and we really benefit from deeply manipulating this area! 
This area is neglected- when was the last time you connected your hands, your fingers, your palm with your stomach.. Your flesh, bones, your pulse here! So a good way to self massage our stomachs is to place a pillow underneath our backs supporting our spine and this gives our rib cage a good leverage so it's more pronounced. In yoga this is a good back bending pose and really helps to bring our shoulders back considering how often we all slouch our bodies forwards.

We have 24 ribs- 12 on each side- inbetween our ribs we have what is called intercostals and this is a space between each rib that gives us so much flexibility, movement, breath, expansion, protection.. And equally when we are not open- the intercostals become narrow and congested, our bodies begin to tilt forwards as if we are carrying a physical burden and we contract.

So as the pillow is underneath your spine (preferably the pillow is oblong and supports from the sacrum at the base of the spine) 
Rub some oil onto your own stomach gently in a clockwise motion to warm the area and familiarise your touch. 
When you feel comfortable with the sensation slowly begin to deepen your pressure around your belly button. -This can feel painful- its common and gives you something to work with. In circular motions continue to massage this area and notice what you feel physically and emotionally.

Then starting from underneath the breast bone place your fingers in a downwards position pressing inwards and trace along the rib cage going down towards the pubic bone. - Before you reach this area you probably will feel a lot of movement and hear noises as this is stimulating your colon also which is good. Always start from the right side clockwise and move your hand in a circular motion. When you feel ready you can begin to trace along the contours of the rib cage with your thumb for deeper pressure (not on the bone- alongside the bone where the tissue of your stomach meets the rib)

I like to press down firmly on a spot I find painful and hold it- something may release here- you might feel a heaviness dissapate or a release of emotion. 
Sometimes an emotion can release a few days later! The point is that you're connecting with yourself and feeling your core. 
The pain or discomfort you will feel especially when you press deeply is tension. It's nothing to be worried about- but feel the emotion behind the tension. I have been nearly hyperventating with the pain Ive felt here before and then a massive release afterwards. This isn't a contest though of how much you can endure- I'm not a believer in no pain no gain when it comes to body work. 
Ease yourself into it. Feel yourself intuitively and do what feels right for you.

On a practical level- being sat at desks and our posture from the modern world is etching our bodies closer and closer to the ground again! As saging your stomach and pulling your core back will help so much and open so much. 
Also it can be pleasurable too- even if it sounds quite masochistic! Enjoy. -Zowie.




This poem is inspired by my surrender to my sensitivity today,

as I feel myself more deeply so much emotion is rising up and it can be quite overwhelming at times. Today I burst into tears after expressing how I feel to a friend at work, he embraced me without words or awkwardness, just openness and I felt safe in this space. Safe in this connectedness, in the space of my heart and opening it. I have always been sensitive and emotional but I learnt how to master my expression in such a way that I was controlled and limited with how and with whom I would express. 

This was because I was scared to be open, I didn't feel I could be in my more vulnerable sense of self so I would masquerade it and filter it. Through various healing crisis and life experiences I've re-awakened to my heart to realise that my strength is here in this beautiful soft space and when I speak and act openly here I am in my power. 
Blessings to you all on your journey into the depths of thy heart. 

'The Heart Of The Rose'

''Opening to our heart is painful.
Re-connecting to our emotions bring up all that we've 
Protected ourselves from feeling and being exposed to. 
In order to feel safe expressing from our hearts 
We must push past the feelings that it isn't safe to do so.
We then come to realise that this opening 
To our true emotions,
Feeling them, healing them and releasing them 
Is a personal journey.
One of trust and courage,
In ourselves,
To enable us to feel strong enough to move past the resistance 
And to feel safe in the vulnerability of I.
Life is a journey,
One we must continually unfold with,
Regardless of where we find ourselves 
The challenge is to remain connected to our hearts perspective. 
A good place, 
Bad place 
This heart place shouldn't falter. 
Opening to our heart is painful,
But the pain is what we must endure in order to really 
Know, feel and love within The Heart Of The Rose.''

-Zowie <3 




Ahh what a beautiful heartfelt day full of openings, realisations and laughter.
The general theme or wave in my treatments and in my personal life (I do have one, sometimes :)) is a real opening and removing of layers that prevent me/us from being in a space of love. Meeting my friend for lunch today and working with my clients this afternoon I could feel from myself and from them a desire to move past the perceived limitations, to wake up to the fears or whatever it may be holding us back. By doing this we allow in an intimacy that feels new and refreshing and we can then be truly intimate with another and comfortable in this space. All of the old patterns are beginning to lose their power as we are no longer needing as much protection. In fact we're un-doing all that we have built up and freeing ourselves from our own armours. Because we feel safe within our bodies and we can open our hearts far and wide like never before. I feel so blessed to be here in this empowered and tender state of being.

One dynamic that I was discussing felt like a way of relating that I can understand but no longer practice. This is the way in the which love can be all that we say we wish to have, be etc etc and yet a part of us rejects it when it comes close... Is this because there is still fear attached to love? Is this because love has always been chased and when it is given to receive we get angry at it because deep down we are playing games with ourselves.
Maybe the real challenge is allowing ourselves to Love, to love and be loved without our wounds interfering and sabotaging. I will write about this soon. I hope you all feel love in your lives, tonight, tomorrow and forever. 
Because it's always there for you. 
I love you because I love myself.

-Zowie <3 





''Navigate''

Life is a constant shifting between gears;
Being passive and being active.
Between these two contrasts we must learn to navigate our way, 
Surrendering too much we lose grounding,
Persisting too much and we lose perspective. 
Moving too much we miss our stillness 
Not moving enough we lack our motion.

Moving forwards 
We must be considerate of our past 
Without holding on to it. 
We must embody all that our past has taught us 
By no longer repeating the same lesson.

We must envision our future manifested from the heart 
And let go of it at the same time.
In order to be truly open we must actively surrender 
And in order to really love we must passively let go.

We must and we mustn't!
We do and we don't!
We yes and we no! 
We let go and we hold on.
We speak and remain silent.
And we understand the reasons behind our actions.

We laugh and we cry at this confusion 
And here we learn 
To navigate our way.

-Zowie 

'It takes One to know One....' 
I've always related to this expression 'It takes One to know One' 
the older i get the more it applies and the more I really begin to understand it. One of the wisdoms instilled in me from a young age and it is the truth- how can I see something in another, or anything externally- if I don't already resonate with that within myself already! Takes One to know One.... What I see in you... is a deeper reflection of myself. Sub-consuously or consciously it's undeniable. Happy Sunday! <3 Zowie


What is happening to our natural way of life? 

Living in the modern world has so much to offer in regards to all the advance technology that is available and the benefits it provides us with. Once upon a time paying a bill could've consumed hours of our day preventing us from doing other things, whereas now it's 'instant' at a touch of a button money, emails, messages etc etc are all transferred and this is all very 'convenient' and 'helpful'. Words that in our society are very apt.

Technology is amazing and I have much respect for all that it offers us and enables us to do. But what is happening to our natural way of living now that we are so consumed by it and do we ever miss a time or try to remember a time when technology wasn't as advanced? A time when things may not have been as convenient or productive or instant but it had a sense of flow nevertheless. Life still moved but we as people were not as quick maybe and things seemed more organic and there wasn't such a panic to rush around as much. A time when a phone didn't exist and you would make a plan and arrange a time in advance and you would be there with no other information in-between.

Maybe it's just me but I find that quite romantic - connecting minus a mobile or any form of technology feels more natural, more real, more alive. It's quite poetic isn't it- that in that time- regardless of the other mundane day to day things - people connected in a way that seemed more heartfelt- more telepathic perhaps- lovers would think/feel each other through the ether not through a text! Is the essence of this connection lost through the filtering of a wonderfully weird machine? Or do we have to change- by this I mean go back to a more basic way of living? It's definitely interesting to imagine what is to come when our relationships exists purely through social media and for many the awareness to know this way of connecting isn't natural isn't there- because life keeps us caught up in this technological spin...

Maybe this is another ideology as I know that through my own socialisation and way of life that technology, phones, emails etc etc play such an important role- so much so that yes I'd be worried and scared to give up my phone and email. Without this means of communication my business would rely on word of mouth. (Which actually as a side note should not be underestimated) I have known businesses that purely exist on word of mouth and are very successful, there's something very authentic and special about that considering how hard it must've been to establish itself and it continues to cater in a more personal way.

Anyway my point is- I understand the importance of technology and it would be ridiculous to say that we would be better off, happier, healthier, more connected to ourselves/each-other/nature etc etc without it as it isn't true. We have a choice to engage with it or not. I just feel that the times before we so heavily relied on technology- even to say how we feel- what we are doing etc etc seemed nicer, more serendipitous in some way and yes I would go as far as to say more connected and trusting in God.

I do believe there can be too much technology, upgrades in this, synergies and enhancements in that... Will there be a time where we feel overwhelmed by the constant bombardment of products, 
or will we continue to evolve just like a playstation of TV. 
This morning I was on the phone to various people about various things- each 'Agent' spoke to me whilst reading a script they had been trained to say as we exchanged energy through a phone line in such an impersonal and yet direct way. Something's missing?? I sometimes feel as though I'm conversing with a robotic machine - even my phone predicts my grammar for me which essentially is dumbing my mind and capacity to understand language. Even if it is helpful at times- what has it come to when a device assumes my thought processes and then sends the message for me how it decides! 'LOL'

Sometimes I feel as though I haven't been created for the modern world and I laugh at my technology stupidity- how I'm writing on an Apple Mac I don't really know how to work- how I didn't really need it but I bought into an identity- a brand and it manipulated me and I thought to myself this morning as I was having to rely on so much phone line interaction... Are we giving away so much of ourselves to technology that we're all becoming part machines!? You may laugh and think that this statement is dramatic but the more we all consume technologically feels as though our bare skin shall be covered one day in some kind of metallic suit with a chip and pin device plugged in somewhere.

Of course technology can be creative also, for example a photographer captures their moment and creates a personal imprint through a technical machine- 
or a documentary can raise awareness or any artistic expression is simply shared through this medium- this can create a positive change and leans towards the fact that this form of expression through technology can be enlightening and of great benefit. So it's how we use technology and how productive it is in our lives in relation to our emotions.

It's a scary thought- Is our reality now all that George Orwell wrote about and imagined us to be? Or are we the films in which we enjoyed unaware of the prophesies in them such as The Terminator? We enjoyed books such as 1984 and entertained the ideas but a dystopian-like future seemed way off- just like the predictions of Sarah Connor and her attempts to save humanity. -Is this all just science-fiction?

You can use no technology (or is Technology using you..) 
or depend on technology entirely - this is a huge contrast of course -
And I don't know the answers, my point is to just be aware of the above points and what a natural/healthy amount of technology usage is? Haha.. I'm sure ''Arnie'' would know... He'll be back??

Zowie






'Don't be afraid to dive deeper within,
There are many treasures waiting for your discovery!'

-Says the beautiful mermaid who delves into her underworld for discovery. She doesn't skim the surface.. 
Maybe it's part of her enchanting beauty that she is always so immersed in the intensity of the waves of life, 
the darkening depths of the sea- her own emotions- the womb of her world giving sustenance.

Are you being asked to explore or plunge to the depths of yourself like a fearless mermaid? 
To swim in your emotions as you go deeper and deeper in a place where it's just you and the waters and all that it holds?
To confront.. What? 
To incubate.. What? 
To surrender to.. What?

I know I have been, 
This Mercury Retrograde is pretty powerful to say the least- 
It feels as though people are really craving and frustratingly wanting to identify their space right now, to own their space and really honour it, to protect it without having to justifying it- create it without being defensive or separated but knowing this circumference must be felt nevertheless with a clear distinction between giving away our power/honouring ourselves. -That this personal space must be tangibly felt and identifiable as it says 'This is MY space, this is MY sacred space and it is MINE.' No bullshit just truth.

If others don't like this then do they really respect us anyway-or does it even matter anyway!- No it doesn't, it's about the 'I' and 'Me' respecting personal needs without pleasing or satisfying the expectations of others and what they are/not comfortable with. 
It feels very empowering- to finally feel strong in our sense of selves and expressions of truth, wants and needs regardless of projection or compromise.

Because saying to others that you are wanting to be alone can make you feel uncomfortable at times- even saying that is interesting as again I instantly 'think' by declaring the want to be alone- that this is perceived as isolating myself as though something is 'wrong!' -This is not true. -We don't need an excuse or we shouldn't feel that through expressing this that we ought to then snap out of it because others don't know how to accept or react to it. 
Like some kind of unconscious irony- when people say we must;
'Snap out go it!'- we MUST go out into the world and DO things! Haha! To me this is denial of our true emotions by not allowing them to be felt, then re-scrambling them, quickly placing them into a lesser priority box (that really should be called fear) then consciously focusing on what is actively productive all in the name of distraction! ...Headless chicken come to mind?

Maybe that's why there always seem to be blockages when connecting with people who only want to talk and concentrate on things that for some are just fleeting thoughts dis-regarded as such. That might sound arrogant as we should be quite chameleon -like I suppose in the various levels we can adapt and connect with everyone- as a reflection of ourselves too- we don't want to take ourselves too seriously all the time. But I believe we can only truthfully connect if we are in that place within ourselves first and that in itself- wanting to connect with people deeper- naturally will need a deepening within you to shift and filter through all that you no longer resonate with conversation wise- or in those nonsense time-killing exchanges that you just don't care for anymore, although they are apart of life and can also be quite charming too- if this is all you're attracting (poor you!) ..then question the resistance within you too. 
Equally if the way in which we seem to be conversing with people is beginning to feel more heart-felt- then great this literally is feedback that you are opening to deeper levels too. 

-There is method in the madness I tell ya! 

Obviously there is a healthy amount of being alone and connecting with others and neither should be used as an excuse to dis-engage with life. We don't want to be floating away into seclusion cut off from anything other than ourselves and our own thoughts! That would be a nightmare and totally not what it's about! In that respect you'll lose yourself through retreating too much and unable to come back out which is loneliness.

And at the same time you don't want to be that busy bee that is here there and everywhere unable to stop buzzing as a means of escaping what's going on beneath the surface. -Much like the delusion in my industry where many in search of themselves are constantly enrolling on workshops to guide them -and yet they get trapped into the various slogans and promises and then - excuse my cynicism but they're back to square 1 again as they give away their power too much to people who always seem to be the cure. Really? A real teacher will reflect you and that is their guiding- you to the reflection of the mirror- back to yourself. They will not tell you who you are they show you the entrance to yourself.

But we all do have such a fear of being alone don't we!
I hope that individually this is changing and therefore collectively we will start to look at our aloneness or expressions of this in a new, more empowering way. As we will be more empowered through being comfortable here instead of pressure or shame of us being here! 
It's growth, nurturing, expansion, openness actually.

If we don't connect to the depth of ourselves then we will never know those emotions within us or how we really feel.
Just like the mermaid that swims so deep she cannot see- just feels-and when she doesn't know what she feels it's so deep and scary- she trusts. - These emotions are very much like the Seabed- the very bottom of the waters- and just imagine what is to be found here and what jewels or unknown treasures to come back up with!

And yes, of course mermaids are real... 
I was one.. A very long time ago!;)

Zowie Conway







'Choosing to see the good in other's' 

When you are surrounded by people who are only interested in talking about other's- 'bitching' 'gossiping' and generally pulling things down- realise that this is a massive insight into this person's own view of life, themselves, their feelings. Also don't doubt that equally as one person attempts to 'bitch' with you about someone/something- that again this same person will not hesitate to do the same behind your back-because they are so used to coming from and expressing on this level. Their unable to transcend this low vibration of being partly because they're not a stage where they are at peace with themselves. 

See it as a sad thing- someone who constantly digs at someone is an indication that this person is very unhappy with themselves and tries to expose anothers flaws to make them feel better about themselves. But really they're just emphasizing their own feelings of dissatisfaction with who they are. 

Naturally we all sometimes feel anger towards another, disappointment, frustration and all the usual stuff- but this place creates nothing good- hence the constant need to do it to try and gain energy. 

The difference with seeing the good in someone despite their imperfections is something that will always bring a loving energy, of acceptance, of their good, as a reflection of your own and this creates an energy of unconditional love. 
 

Notice how you feel around people who only want to talk about how 'bad' and 'wrong' everything is- draining isn't it? Exactly. 
And how do you feel in environments that embrace, celebrate and welcome the beauty in you/other's/life/themselves.... Empowering isn't it? 
You know it. :) 

-Zowie Conway
 
'Feeling Safe' 
Something that's come up a lot lately in healings is how 'Safe' we feel within ourselves and how this affects us, especially our bodies. When we don't feel safe -be this because of a past trauma for example- our bodies go into a 'fight or flight' mode for protection and even though this trauma may have occurred a long time ago the protective shield can still remain in a more subtle form. 

This type of energy is usually felt to be cold- as the circulation isn't flowing freely it causes a restriction and a build up and the body separates because of it. It's common for the legs and feet to remain cold and yet the lower back area remains warm. 
Which is not surprising as our lower back connects to our foundation and how grounded and 'safe' we feel in this world,
and for our legs and feet to remain cold is an indication that this energy is stagnant and will not allow us to move forwards until this safe/unsafe feeling is addressed. 

When we feel unsafe we try to fill this space with external comforts and the usual defense mechanisms come out to play as a means to control and protect. But the more we allow these distractions to hold the space the longer it shall take to address the root cause. 

So how do we re-emerge from this cocoon type of functioning? How do we break through this mesh of energy that surrounds us- preventing anything from penetrating again? What are we protecting? What do we believe to be controlling or suppressing? What is this sensation wanting to be known? What are you afraid of? How does your inner child feel? What happened to make you protect and internally rotate? 

I believe asking these questions will be a good start, and waiting for the response however this shall arise. Being present with this unsafe feeling is scary, I know, but it's through this dark path of facing this that we shall come to release this cocoon type of energy, as it isn't needed anymore. And imagine what is beyond- wanting to be opened and explored. I also recommend Qigong as a daily practice and yoga to bring awareness back into your body and energy field. And focusing on your base chakra (Red) at the bottom of your spine.  Zowie Conway <3

'Seeking approval' 
What is it within you that seeks approval? I've been exploring this within myself for a while and others have also shared the fact that apart of them has yet to 'come home' to themselves and this aspect then manifests in confirmation and a seeking of approval from another. Be this a mother, a father, a friend, basically any external acceptance of self is sought after. 

On a sub-conscious level this need for approval is maybe unnoticed, we may lack confidence in certain areas in our lives yet we cannot understand why. Or we could be the 'Pleaser' always fulfilling this role as care taker for everyone, as we believe that through being helpful we will be approved, and of course it's nice to be helpful, but this can also be a form of denial as we may dismiss the fact through this chronic pleasing we compromise ourselves, we deny ourselves. 

The fact is if we are to go through life always living according to other's expectations and approvals of us then who's life are we really living? We lose, or rather, give away our originality and spark as a result. And this pleasing can become an addiction, an addiction to pleasing as a means of gaining attention, affection, love. A 'Tough- Love' situation. 

Focus on yourself and your priorities, it is not being 'selfish' what does selfish even mean... It's as though society uses this word in such a way that we're believed to be such a greedy person! But 'selfish' is also a trick word that acts as a distraction, preventing us from really being with ourselves in various ways. So what are you willing to compromise? 

If a parent doesn't accept you, your way of life, your thinking etc the chances are they never will, so when will you come to the realization that you cannot change this? Do you believe that continuing to seek approval, be it materialistically or emotionally will alter their expression towards you? I've come to realize that acceptance lies purely, solely, utterly within us, regardless of others. And how powerful and re-claiming to get to a point where you can say that the opinion of other's derogatory remarks matters not. 

In the long run this disapproval proves to be one of our biggest challenges that allows us the chance to empower ourselves, to set a boundary of how far you will go for others, how much giving of yourself you will allow... And how much you can fill yourself up with the most pivotal love, the love most available to you, Self-Love. -Zowie Conway <3
 

'Authentic hearts' 
To say you have absolutely no love for someone you were in love with is fickle, because if you truly loved someone in the first place then they shall always be cushioned somewhere within your heart. Looking back on relationships, I've been hurt, lied to, cheated on and the usual stories, but I also can say that apart of me will always have a love for apart of them in a non romanticised way. Each person, and each relationship brings you something to learn, to grow and reflect back what we love about ourselves and equally what we don't. And I think there's such beauty and power in situations where you may have been cheated on or hurt, and even though you were angry someone could do this, now you can still have love for them despite it all. Look at it as a blessing in disguise- yes we are human and feel our emotions deeply and at the time it isn't easy to feel forgiveness or see beauty in someone who has treated you badly, however realise this person taught you so much, about self love perhaps, about emotional immaturity, and how you are no longer with them as someone more compatible, more loving and more of that more you seek is waiting to be met. My thoughts for today are allowing our resentments or the sayings of I have no love for you to cease, to transform into wisdom and a space where this person's energy can be put to rest and we can look ahead again without carrying the baggage of this experience but feeling gratitude. -Zowie Conway 

'You are a powerful Creator' 
We can say we want to feel more love but how can we receive any more if we are limited in our opening to giving more. More to ourselves, to life, to others, it all reverberates back. So by expressing more love, more affection more of that which you would like in your life, then this calling shall come back, like a boomerang back and forth, mirroring the reflection of you. Your intentions, your actions, your feelings all create the life you lead 'right now' so raise your awareness today, instead of just thinking- 'feel' into what it is you want, really begin to be present of what it is you put out to the universe, energetically, verbally or through your actions, and know that this shall come back. You are a powerful creator. - Zowie Conway



'Our Grounding'
Something that iv'e been celebrating recently is my connection to my body, to the earth and the strength and sexuality this brings. I can finally say I feel the power of being grounded. To truly embody the physical as well as the spiritual that can sometimes take us up and away from the density of our bodies, our purpose and the spaces we navigate. And for so long I felt disconnected to my movements, my anchoring, the earth and my connection to my feet. And now I feel as though I am firmly planted and I'm here, I'm present. The thing is so many spiritual people lack grounding, constantly connecting to something 'higher' but the power and strength of that which is 'lower' and beneath is so important and is no way lacking from the above. The element of air can lose itself in the wind, the sky can lack this holding as its intangible. The earth is solid, it gives birth to much- hence the primal sexuality that exudes from her, the fire gives sustenance and fans the flames in our lives. Maybe a lack of grounding can be a form of escapism- a retreating within the recesses of our minds or the skies, to anything in the above (elements of Air) whereas fully embodying the earth elements really brings us into our power, our strength and fire -to be all that we can by grounding all that we are. We don't all need wings to fly  - Zowie Conway


'Being mindful with our words' 
When I hear a parent screaming at their child so-called 'throw-away' comments such as 'Shut your mouth!'.. ' 'I don't want to hear you speak!' 'Nobody is listening to you!' 'Nobody gave you permission to speak!' it triggers a wound within myself that as an adult I feel myself biting my tongue yet again, because I want to explain to the mother how damaging these phrases can be! 
Because if we consistently repeat such words- the meanings will imprint within our kids on deep level, so deep that the phrases yelled at them may get lost in their little bodies, only to be re-found when the adult has grown to have no voice and a confusion over their sense of self...and how they think they should be 'heard' or 'seen'.. Because they always swallowed their thoughts, never finding confidence or worth in them, and consequently is now so introverted that they feel scared to convey how they truly feel, think and believe in fear of judgement or abuse or derogatory response. It's no wonder we develop problems with our Throat Chakra's, how we believe ourselves to be so un-confident and in-adequate. 

I can see the frustration that mothers face when they are trying to calm their children and re-gain authority, but why can't one find the composure to be more mindful with what is expressed? 
I don't doubt that being a mother can be stressful and testing at times, but orders to 'Shut your mouth!' has an aggressive effect on a conscious and sub-conscious level and in the end a commonly used phrase isn't so 'throw-away'. 
This is echoed within our society- where the truth isn't exposed, where lies and deception cause a lot of anger and fear because the adult now cannot express themselves properly. Because when they were a child they believed that using their voice's ('= Belonging to and shouldn't be forgotten!) was a bad thing so they suppressed their feelings. 

I feel that when we use these types of comments, when we believe we are 'controlling' kids, in fact we are dis-empowering them for the future. We create obstacles and preserve them for an inner battle the child will have to face. Because they absorb it all whether you believe this or not! 

So if you are to teach them to become an authentic, open, compassionate, empathic, confident, empowered, expressive, creative and heart-led individual then at least use the right words, techniques, mindfulness, openness, calmness, patience, presence, encouragement and empowerment yourself! - Zowie Conway

'Cosmic Ordering'
A little ritual I have done in the past to release and manifest is 'Cosmic Ordering' -Create a sacred space where you are able to really focus and give the time, energy and intention.. Light a candle and connect to your heart.. What is it you would like to let go of right now? What is it that your heart desires to bring closer? Write this down on a piece of paper being as truthful and heart-led as you can and allow your energy to spill out as you write. 
When you are satisfied place the paper (safely) on top of the flame so it begins to burn.. Watch it burning, turning your heart-felt wishes into ash.. Then blow the candle out and go outside and blow the ash into the wind, into the universe, into surrender.. 
I done this ritual a few years ago and whether you'd call this 'Magic' 'Divine Intervention' or just the power of intention It had a huge effect on my life and I got what I was asking for.. 'Change' 
So the full moon is a wonderful time to do this ritual as the energies are most potent! 
Also remember that once you've completed the ritual- have faith that all will happen in the right time- If you start obsessing about when and how causing doubt you will block this energy from happening as quickly. Remain open to receiving. So have fun and 'Believe'   - Zowie Conway


'The balancing act' 
When you work on an aspect of yourself, to improve and live in your truth it's very common for another to mirror this situation back to you along the journey of embodying whatever this aspect may be. Whether this aspect is healed or still raw this process of mirroring comes along as a reminder to confirm where we're at. For a long time I've been trying to take my focus away from my head and listen to my heart without 'over analysing'' or 'intellectualising' which I used to love to do so much. 
Because when our activity is always in our heads we are not able to feel the depths of our emotions we're caught up like a dictionary with no feeling. It's almost as if we feel safe and protected by this 'compartmentalising' and yet the heart doesnt get a chance. Maybe this is where the expression 'half- hearted' derived from. The split between whats said and whats felt. Just half. This isnt about deceiving anyone but yourself, this is about coming into balance within you. 
This has been mirrored back to me recently through people who are lost in their own thoughts, as they speak I can feel the place they're coming from as it's taking so long to conjure up simply because the mind is spinning and the heart is silenced from it, because theres a hesitancy and a divide between this small space.
 And I realise that through constantly over thinking our communication we are living in the realm of the mind and it's no longer a place I want to live, create and express from. Its not natural. And I'm happy for this reflection -so thoughts for today- Are you opening, feeling and speaking from your heart or is the focus coming purely from the mind... Where is this balance at within you?? -Zowie Conway

'Lord Ganesh, Elephant God.

I have been embracing the energies of Ganesh with a powerful 'mantra' that awakens the 'Shakti'= The manifesting energy of the Universe. 

According to the Buddhist handbook, Mantras are 'Usually of Sanskrit origin, which are charged with deep meaning and magical potency' - A mantra can be a word, sound or phrase which elevates consciousness through it's meaning, sound or rhythm, tone and reflexology of the tongue against the palate of the mouth.

This particular Mantra is ''OM GAM GANAPATAYE NAMAHA'' Which can be loosely translated to 'WAKE UP ROOT CHAKRA ENERGY OF TRANSFORMATION SO I CAN MOVE THROUGH ANY OBSTACLES IN MY LIFE.' 

Most importantly, we are calling upon the energy of Ganesh, the elephant headed deity who is the Lord of 'NEW BEGININNINGS.'
In Kundalini Yoga Ganesh resides in the first Chakra called 'Muladhara' Mula=Orginial, adhara=Foundation. 
When we awaken this energy, it helps us move through the Chakras with ease to activate a strong sense of self, express Divine Love and connect with our intuition. The mantra helps us release and move past any percieved obstacles in our lives.

   
''OM GAM GANAPATAYE NAMAHA' 

'Taking responsibility'
Sometimes you'll notice a pattern in people's behaviours and start to understand why they act and respond in the way they do so often.. I was having a conversation and one person within the group was resisting change within our environment so they used words such as 'Attack!' and 'Attacked!' to express how they feel because of this. -This was a civilized conversation about change and compromise and yet it became aggressive and defensive due this person's unwillingness to compromise or see a perspective outside of oneself. -Which is commonly considered 'Selfish!' 
Of course change can be scary, can be challenging and bring up many themes within us- and if we're not aware we most likely don't know that this conditioning is even happening.
And this is the point- once we start to broaden our awareness we become more mindful of the patterns that circulate within us! So for a person to say they feel 'Attacked' when there is no just reason demonstrates a pattern of 'victimization'. -And to believe that you are always the victim and that all drama is outside of oneself is totally dis-empowering, irresponsible and immature. -To constantly play this role is to not take full responsibility of self and with this how does one ever expect to have integrity! Once we stop playing the role of a 'victim' we shall see that we are the co-creators of our lives and with this realization comes 'Self-Mastery.' -Zowie Conway

'The way in which we hold ourselves back' 

I deliberately didn't go swimming for ages because it was emotionally painful for me as I was a professional swimmer and had to quit because of an injury. But today I went and It felt amazing. This made me think of all the times we hold ourselves back from doing what we love because of a painful experience. How we box it up and allow our minds to weave this twisted patterning. I had created so much expectancy of feeling regretful and sadness and yet when I got into the water none of that existed, I felt liberated. It made me think of why I anticipated feeling regretful as I'm happy with my life now and that my experience was fated. And I realised it was my ego- feeling regret for not achieving a status, of what I could've achieved. Where was the freedom in that.. This kind of thinking is a trap, we cage ourselves believing we are not good enough, we havn't succeeded. But it's not true, we don't need an Olympic medal to feel great, nor a first place position to feel we are good. Thoughts for today... It's an illusion to believe that we are not good enough. We are. <3 - Zowie Conway


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"Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize how unnecessary it was to drag those burdens along with you. You’ll see that no one other than you was responsible. The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival."
-Buddhist Teaching